if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
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