he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
