The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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