So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
