i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
