ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so let's talk penis.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
