I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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