Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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