If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
