so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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