drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
