party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
