never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
