My balls are so social today.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
