Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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