the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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