I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
