You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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