If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
