Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
