how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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