She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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