I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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