Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
