Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
