You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
