Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
