I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
