At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
