i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
