next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
