What did we do last night that was yellow?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
