it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
