Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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