i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
