omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
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