i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
