Soap is not a condiment
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
