if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
