I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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