Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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