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You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
