I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
