So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
