Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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