You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
