Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
