Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
