i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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