honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
