whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
